Review – Pirates of the Curry Bean – Manor Primary School

Ten and eleven year old primary school students are always trying to find ways to appear “grown-up” and “cool” and, to be honest, they often fail. However the year six students at Manor Primary School, Uckfield, in their end of year show Pirates of the Curry Bean, have proved that they are certainly grown-up, and terrifically cool, by taking an incredibly complex one and a half hour musical comedy and absolutely nailing it!

The evening begins with two short a-cappella performances. One is a song that will appear later in the show and the other, to get us all in the mood for this sea-faring tale, is Rod Stewart’s Sailing. Both are sung cleanly, clearly and flawlessly – a great start to the evening.

The tale is narrated throughout by Deadeye Dinghy (Leon), who delivers all of his lines in the traditional “pirate” accent, and in rhyming couplets. He introduces us to the family at the centre of the saga, the Periwinkles. Pearl (a role shared by Isabella and Keris) is the lone parent, single since her husband Stanley’s disappearance at sea. She has two children Jack (played by Jack) and Liza (Jasmine T) and a clever rat-catching cat called Fiddlesticks (Bryan).

Scenes change quickly in the production and the huge array of props are always exactly where they should be thanks to Aleena, Benjamin, Alyssa, Peter, Thomas P, Fern, Jasmine W and Poppy. While they do their magic, Finley who controls the music and Izaak and Timothy on lighting, work hard to make sure that all is set for the next part of the tale.

Down at the docks two crews wait to set sail. The crew of the British Naval vessel, the HMS Crunchy Frog, are led by Captain Cod (Scarlett) who seems to be rather busy taking care of the new Admiral Horatio Hornhonker (Harry), a man who knows less about the sea faring life than just about anybody else on the planet!

Their crew, Cut-throat Clegg (Oliver), Fathom (Alisha), Fender (James) Fluke (Harvey), Gooseneck (Ethan), Gibbet (Flynn) and Grog (Michael) are a clean cut, neat and tidy bunch – and then there’s Lookout Lofty (Thomas M), a man who can’t see a hand in front of his face and a character who is real comedy gold. They are hampered on their journey by the Health and Safety Inspectors, Mr A Pratt (William L) and Mr A Wally (Chloe C) – two more characters that provide plenty of pantomime style comedy moments.

The pirate ship, the Curry Bean (Yes, they only eat curried beans and yes, all of the wind related jokes are in there) are led by Captain Redbeard (William R), although his beard isn’t actually red, it’s bright p…, Oops, I nearly said “the P word”!

His crew is made up of Loopy Louie (Joy), Squawk the Parrot (Joseph), Baggywrinkle (Chloe S), Broadside (Charlotte) Bunghole (Emmerson), Blunderbuss (Niamh), Barnacles (Althea), Bullyrag (Rell), Bilboe (Lexie) and Bilge (Tia).

Two more crew members who change sides quicker than some Premiership managers are Scuttle (Elyse)and Slack (Levi), a comedy partnership that just grows and grows as the performance goes on, with every punchline being delivered with incredibly precise comic timing – and the “Booty” routine a particular highlight.

Of course, you can’t have a pirate tale without a map and an island with buried treasure, and so we soon find ourselves on a journey to the island of Lumbago, in the sea of Sciatica – although some in the audience have visited one or both of them already! Here we meet Tick (Elissa), Tack (Samuel) and Toe (Fynn) who in turn introduce us (through some unscheduled laughter) to Ping (Miya), Pong (Olivia), Wiff (Tim), Waff (Samuel) and then to Chief Wonga (Alex).

There are also some Monkeys that keep popping up on the island, and it isn’t long before Sophie, Holly, Jake, Freddie and Mark are pursuing various characters around the auditorium, in a classic Benny Hill style chase, accompanied by superbly timed special effects supplied by Ruby and Mackenzie.

The students have been rehearsing for this production since well before Easter, and it shows. There are very few “first night nerves” but instead there is a cast of incredibly confident, talented and seriously cool children – and an audience full of deservedly proud parents, relatives and friends, who have enjoyed every second of this superbly produced show.

*****        Five Stars

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