I gave a considerable amount of thought to what I wanted to write about for my last column of 2020 (author’s note: it was still 2020 when I wrote this!). Initially, I planned on complaining about a number of things – COVID19 being chief among them – and I’m certain that most of you would have agreed wholeheartedly with all my complaints. But then I decided to look forward instead of back, and write with a more measured, optimistic voice.
No one is more surprised about this than I. In the first place, one of the things I do best is complain, and to pass up a prime opportunity to do so is largely uncharacteristic. And in the second place, optimism is not my natural forte, requiring, as it does, a lot more thought than I was initially planning to give this month’s column. But stick with me, here, and I’ll give it a whirl.
I decided to offer a wish list for 2021. Feel free to add your own.
I WISH…
…that my horse would stop spooking at nothing and subsequently throwing me off his back.
…that my bones would stop breaking when he throws me off his back.
…that I would wake up a size 8, rather than my current size of 16.
…that all the junk food I eat would result in weight loss, rather than weight gain.
…that the hubs would take an overdose of chill pills and stop getting verschlept at every little thing.
…that my pet ducks would stop pooing all over the garden every 18 minutes. Once an hour is sufficient.
…that my cats would stop vomiting on the bed covers.
…that every one of you readers would buy 5 copies of all four of my books.
…that The Imperial War Museum would reinstate The Blitz Experience because it was exceptionally informative.
…that Boris would for heaven’s sake run a comb through his hair every once in a while.
…that whomever is responsible for these things bring back that nifty fountain that came up out of the ground by the Duke of York shops in The King’s Road. I don’t even know what they replaced it with, but I hate it!
…and while I’m thinking of it, that that churlish fellow at Alice’s Antiques in Portobello Road take down his churlish “no picture taking” sign and bloody well let people take pictures!
…that someone would buy The Basil Street Hotel in Knightsbridge and open it up again. I absolutely adored going for tea up on the 3rd floor.
…that people would be kinder to animals.
…that people would be kinder to people.
…that my editor wouldn’t sack me for being a week late with my column.
…and, lastly, that we all remain healthy in 2021, and that this bloody virus is eradicated once and for all.
Welcome to 2021! Let’s make it a great year!