‘Can I ask you a very quick question?’ coming from a business owner fills me with quiet dread.
Typically, they are not quick questions – they usually require thought, time and expertise to answer.
The trouble is that by answering, you’re undermining your worth and you risk them losing respect for you, or, devaluing your expertise.
There may be times when you’re happy to help, for example, if the person asking is a valued customer, then you might consider it as an added value bonus.
But unless you’re a philanthropist who doesn’t need the money and you’re happy to support all comers, I’d advise caution before agreeing to answer the question.
Other potential bear traps to avoid include:
Doing things for free ‘for the publicity’
‘If you do x for me for free, I’ll post about it, and you’ll get good media coverage and more clients’. Usually accompanied by quite an aggressive stance – ‘I’m an influencer with thousands of followers (and if you don’t do it for free, I’ll tear strips off you instead).’
You won’t get more clients and they aren’t as influential as they like to think.
Being asked to partner on a ‘guaranteed to be successful’ new product/service launch
A variation on the above is getting asked to partner with someone without a proven track record on a new product launch or similar where they claim that it’s going to go stratospheric with you on board. And they try to charm and seduce you into the dream (and get you to co-fund it). Ask yourself if you have the time and resources to devote to it and more importantly if it’s really going to grow your business.
Most of the time it isn’t.
The heartstrings pluck
‘Money’s tight, can you give me a discount or work with me for free until I can pay you?’
If you’re feeling generous and want to help someone out, make sure you’re very clear about what you will do for free (and how long for) before you will click over to paid work.
People who won’t sign contracts
No contract, no sale. You need to be assured that they are signing up for your services and that they are very clear about the payment terms.
This also applies to partnership agreements. Always, always document what the rules of engagement are (including the rules of disengagement). Don’t assume that because you’re getting on brilliantly now, it will always be that way. What happens if they decide to let you do all the work and they take the glory (and the money)?
Mates rates
The best advice I was given for dealing with being asked for mates’ rates is that you should double your price! Doing work for friends can be fraught with danger. The friendship can quickly descend into acrimony and resentment when things get difficult.
The experience swap
This can occasionally work to both your advantages as long as it’s a swap that you both feel is equitable. There can be a tactical advantage to this if you have something of benefit they can do for you now, that otherwise you would have to wait for.
Approach with caution and don’t do too many of them – they don’t put food on the table.
How to deal with them
You can head most of them off at the pass politely, for example:
Thank you for thinking of me but I don’t have the capacity/time/bandwidth to respond to this with the detail it deserves right now.
or
Thanks for the consideration, but this is not a good fit/I don’t have the right experience. I’ll be in touch should things change.
Keep it simple, practical and to the point. And don’t feel guilty saying no (easier said than done, I appreciate).
If it isn’t in your wheelhouse, you can soften the blow by pointing them in the direction of someone who may be better suited to their needs.