Since theatres have been allowed to open again, but with very much reduced audience numbers, there have been some very inventive ideas of how to use the space, bring life back to the theatre, provide work for talented professionals and, where possible, maybe even make some money as well.
The wonderfully creative management of the Assembly Hall Theatre in Tunbridge Wells came up with the idea of taking out all of the stalls seats, replacing them with seating at tables of various sizes, providing food and drinks using very efficient table service, engaging the services of the London Cabaret Society and turning their space into a fabulously intimate cabaret venue.
Entrance to the venue is incredibly organised with temperature checks, access to the track and trace system and numerous sanitation stations, leaving the audience feeling safe and relaxed and ready to enjoy an evening of entertainment in the very best traditions of both Variety and Burlesque shows.
As we tuck in to our food, and the lights go down, we are joined on the floor by our “hostess” for the evening, the feisty, foul mouthed, funny and fabulous Miss D. Wearing killer heels, and armed with a two metre long “socially distanced microphone” (for the obligatory audience participation) Miss D reminds us, very quickly, why Cabaret shows should always be hosted by a drag queen. Nobody is safe and there is nowhere to hide from her eagle eyes, and wicked tongue.
On stage the opening performers are L.J. and Korri. Circus artistes with many years of experience, they perform an aerial routine which demonstrates their incredible strength, amazing flexibility and mesmerising grace. As they perform the auditorium falls totally silent as, despite the allure of the food, it is impossible to take your eyes off this incredible display – the perfect opening act!
Time for some music now and attention is drawn from the main stage to a smaller one, right in the middle of our tables. On this stage is Craig Webb who launches into a hugely powerful version of Nina Simone’s classic, Feeling Good. Craig has performed many times before as a George Michael tribute act and, listening to his superb voice, and feeling his infectious energy, it’s easy to see why he has been so successful.
Back to the main stage now for some seriously impressive “fire eating” demonstrated by the scantily clad Kay and Emme. Well, we started off with two guys in just their pants, it’s good to let the ladies feel the fresh air too! Kay also appears in the second act and, as you can see in the picture at the top of this review, she has a very novel way of getting out of the bath!
More music now as, on the main stage, Lisa-Marie Holmes stands bathed in blue light and delivers a breath-taking version of a song written by Eric Carmen and made a worldwide hit by Celine Dion. All By Myself is such a classic that it needs to be delivered faultlessly, and it is. Lisa-Marie’s powerful voice fills the air and has both depth and emotion.
Act one finishes in the best tradition of Burlesque – but DeVees is a Burlesque artiste with a difference. In front of the stage is what can best be described as a huge “Babycham” glass filled with water. After enticingly removing almost all of her clothing, DeVees climbs up and into the glass to give the first act a titillating, and very wet, finale!
In between each of the acts Miss D directs proceedings, encouraging as many of the audience as possible to join in – although some need very little encouragement as the wine bottles begin to empty! In act two she also presides over a “lip sync battle”, a fancy dress fashion parade and she even gives us a song or two as well – such a great MC.
Act Two features the same performers, but with very different acts. Craig Webb is now singing from The Greatest Showman, Korri is above the stage performing a solo aerial ring act which, with his trousers split up to the waist, is as erotic as it is enthralling, Lisa-Marie Holmes take the roof off the building with Never Enough, also from The Greatest Showman, and we end the evening with a Whitney Houston inspired full company song and dance finale.
The Assembly Hall Theatre have scheduled one cabaret night a month, each with a different theme, with the next two already on sale – Le Cabaret Rock (air guitars and big hair at the ready) and the smooth and sophisticated Le Cabaret 007 (no prizes for guessing James Bond!).
With food and drinks provided, table service from very attentive staff, a covid secure venue and a full two hour show of superb entertainment, cabaret nights at the Assembly Hall Theatre offer the complete package for a really fantastic night out and are guaranteed to keep selling out – so book early for the next ones!
***** Five Stars