New research has revealed that 76 percent of parents in the South East experience guilt when it comes to raising their children, with parents feeling guilty four times a week on average. This equates to an astonishing 17 times per month or 213 times per year.
Despite this, the study, which was conducted amongst parents in the UK by leading name label manufacturer My Nametags (https://www.mynametags.com/), found that parents in the South East are amongst the least likely to be afflicted by parental guilt in the UK, when compared with the national average where parents feel guilty almost twice a day.
Interestingly, women are more likely to suffer this than men, with British mums feeling guilty eight times more per month than dads on average.
The most common cause of parental guilt in the South East is parents losing their temper with their children, with nearly half of parents feeling guilty for boiling over in front of their youngsters. This is followed by letting them have too much screen time (39 percent), not playing with their children enough (39 percent), not spending enough quality time with them (31 percent) and disciplining them (29 percent).
This contrasts with attitudes towards parenting elsewhere in the UK, with parents in the North East more likely to feel guilty about not helping their children with their homework (53 percent) and those in Northern Ireland fearing they don’t organise enough hobbies for their children (27 percent).
Brits also sweat the small stuff, with some parents reporting feeling guilty about not mending their children’s clothes when they get damaged, writing their children’s names in their clothing instead of sewing in a name label and not ironing all of their clothing.
It is mums who are more likely to worry about these small details, with women regularly feeling guilty about being caught on their phone when they should be concentrating on their children, not buying them the latest clothes, and not making school play costumes themselves. Dads, on the other hand, are more likely to fret over asking other people to look after their children because they are too busy and not tucking them in at night.
However, the study found that this guilt is often disproportionate. While almost half of British parents feel guilty about losing their temper, only 38 percent believe this negatively impacts their children. Similarly, while over a quarter feel guilty about giving their children quick and easy meals, only 14 percent think this genuinely effects their children’s wellbeing, demonstrating that parents even feel guilty about things that they don’t believe have an impact on their children.
Commenting on the findings, Parenting Expert Bea Marshall says: “Guilt is common among all parents and yet it actually makes it harder for us to parent in the ways we aspire. Guilt stems from our fears that how we raise our children may impact their futures. These may be fears about physical and mental health, relationships and social success or financial independence. Our worries may also be related to what others think of us and our children.
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent and fears that we are falling short lead to guilt. The differences we see between males and females are likely due to multiple factors such as differences in parenting responsibilities and professional commitments, but also due to the different ways men and women navigate parenting. Women often carry a full mental load leading to constant thinking and emotional responses, whereas men are more likely to think about, and act on, one thing at a time leading to a smaller emotional response.”
With current COVID-19 restrictions placing families under new and unique pressures, these levels of guilt are at an all-time high. In fact, almost three quarters of UK parents are feeling additional guilt due to the lockdown measures, despite having no control over the situation. The most common reasons are how bored their children are (31 percent), that they can’t spend time with relatives (26 percent), keeping them indoors (26 percent), and not home schooling them properly (25 percent). Interestingly, 10 percent of UK parents also admitted to feeling guilty that they are not enjoying the extra time they are getting to spend with their children, with men feeling more guilty about this than women.
Lars B Andersen, Managing Director at My Nametags comments: “At My Nametags, we speak to hundreds of thousands of parents every year. With the current global situation putting parents under more pressure than ever before, we were interested in exploring the concept of parental guilt.
“We were intrigued to find that parents from all areas of the UK feel guilty about a huge number of things, from not spending enough time with their children, to not ironing their clothes. We hope that our research highlights that there is no need for parents to be so hard on themselves, and that opting for convenience, such as using stick-on name labels or cooking using pre-prepared ingredients, will not have a negative impact on their children, and may save them an awful lot of stress.”
To find out more about My Nametags and how we can help make a parent’s life just a little bit easier, visit https://www.mynametags.com/blog/2020/05/exploring-parental-guilt/
