I was reading an article this week about how care home visiting has evolved throughout the pandemic, and I found the statistics they quoted startling. According to the ONS, around 420,000 people in England live in care homes – almost 1% of our population. However, in 2001, there were only around 320,000 residents.
There’s no escaping the fact that a lot has changed since 2001. Aside from the rise of social media, other technologies are evolving too. Healthcare is better than ever, people are living longer, and at the same time, the state pension age is creeping up as people are deemed able to work for longer.
In years gone by, it was standard that elderly relatives were cared for in the home, usually by the lady of the house. Now, we are seeing more and of our elders admitted to long term care facilities.
The expectation in modern society is that we work. People who would usually have retired are now expected to work until they are 66, with this set to increase to 67 in the next 5-7 years. For these people, they may feel like they are pushed into making the decision to hire carers or pay for residential homes, as they don’t have the energy after a full day at work to then come home and care for their aged parents. Often, they are also held responsible for the costs of the care, particularly if their relative doesn’t qualify for the funding from social care, leading to a constant flurry of feelings of resentment and guilt.
On the other side of the coin, we have people who have given up work or who have taken early retirement to care for their parents, and are now saddled with a very similar emotional cocktail powerful enough to knock anyone off kilter.
As they take on the burden of care, they feel resentment seeing their peers, often empty-nesters, enjoying their very different lifestyle. They then feel a deep, resounding guilt for feeling the resentment, because after all, their parents gave up 18+ years of their own lives to see their children through to adulthood.
The financial compensation for becoming a full time carer hardly makes things better either. Paid at a whopping £67.60 a week, which works out as a menial £1.93 an hour, given that they have to be caring for 35 hours a week to be eligible. It is a real shame that our ‘unpaid carers’ are so undervalued for taking on everything that they do when they become a carer. £1.93 doesn’t account for the toll that being a carer can have on your health and wellbeing, either.
In a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t situation, there really are no winners here.